After a much needed hiatus from the drab world of community college, I went back today for the orientation of my online literature class. As regulations and specifications oozed out of my professor, numerous questions were spat in her general direction. The one that made me feel the most like my good ole (?) preschool days was when a taller and dumber version of Dakota Fanning felt inclined to ask, "...what if I don't get it? Cause sometimes I read something and I just don't understand it!"
Uuuuuuhhhhhhh... what if you cough today? What if you blink? GREAT SCOT, whatever would you DO?
When I glanced at the teacher, expecting a twin reaction, I laid eyes on a face that has patiently been putting up with idiots for years. There was no rolling of the eyes. There was no sigh and look-away. There was solemn acceptance. She knew these people are stupid. She knew how to handle stupid people. That's when I understood, for the first time, I would never be able to be a teacher. Not that I've ever wanted to be a teacher, but I knew I just never could. Maybe for 3rd graders, but for college students? No, no. Most college students have forgotten how to drive/park/talk.
That reminds me... I had a sit-down at a fun/familiar sushi restaurant with my mother after the class. While I sipped my green tea and I finished up my miso, there to the right sat a choppy-blonde-haired girl that I had seen around school. Now don't get me wrong, I love choppy hair. But there on her face was the thickest layer of false skin colored foundation I had ever set eyes on. Who knew what she looked like without any! You can imagine my incredulity as she pulled out her compact and started to apply more: more false skin color and more spidery black substance to her eyelashes that already appeared to be mimicking tarantulas. Call me old fashioned, but why anyone would feel the need to apply more of whatever whale fat on their face inside a sparsely populated sushi restaurant simply astounds me. If you want to look pretty all the time, so be it. But what if it's a hot day? What if it rains? Your facade will swiftly be carried away to kill the fish in the ocean. I have nothing against makeup. What I have a problem with is everyone trying to hide their incompetence like Blanche in A Streetcar Named Desire. Sure, she had some pretty lame stuff happen to her, but she handled it pathetically because she wouldn't let go of the idea that she was above everyone else, even when she was crazy. The audience is supposed to have pity on her. Would you have someone look at you and have pity?
Ask questions, but not ones you can answer in your head. Look pretty if you want, but don't hide. If you want to wear orange lipstick you should do it, and if you want to wear a purple false eyelash on one eye, you should. If you want to wear the ugly sweater you found in your grandpa's closet, crammed with tiny holes, you should do that too. Even if you look uglier in it.
3 comments:
"If you want to wear the ugly sweater you found in your grandpa's closet, crammed with tiny holes, you should do that too. Even if you look uglier in it." LMFAOOO I can't stop laughing!
I completely agree with you. I know a lot of girls that wear layers upon layers of crap on their faces (and it usually doesn't even match their natural skin tone). Sad, really.
Teachers are the most underrated heroes, I think.
what bothered me so much about cuyamaca was realizing I was on the same slow road to nowhere as so many people there.
but then why would I have reason to believe I was better than them in any way?
I knew I was better than that, but knew also that I really couldn't say I was better than that.
My mother and I are taking French together at Cuyamaca and there is nothing more satisfying than having her there to confirm my thoughts about my fellow classmates. I will turn to her to express my disgust at the paramore-loving teeny bopper with too many questions when my mom turns to me and rolls her yes. The awkward young man who sits in front of us has grown on me, and just when I decided to let her know, what does she say but "I use to not like Jamie, but I think he's sweet now."
maybe you should get my mom to take all your classes with you.
dromplog = a creature which resides in a swamp and eats children, but only evil ones traversing the swamp to find poisonous plants to kill their sweet, kind, and loving siblings. stories of dromplogs are often used to scare children into loving their brother(s)/sister(s).
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