Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Moaners, Composers, & Homicidal Thoughts

At a party this weekend, a line of girls awaited excitedly for their turn in the face painting chair. Needless to say, there was a moaner in the line. A moaner is the equivalent of Kristen Wiig's SNL character, Sue, who gets so excited she just can't keep it in. Moaners, while nothing is wrong with them mentally, must keep making moaning sounds in order to show their excitement. They pace back and forth, moaning, smiling, with a fixed stare at your face. When it was finally the moaner's turn, she asked politely for me to make her a kitty. So I painted her face like a pink kitty and when she saw it in the mirror she released the biggest moan of all and immediately began meowing. A little later on, when it was time for balloons, she was unfortunately near the back of the line. Therefore, I twisted balloons for 20 minutes listening to her meow over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over until it was finally her turn again.
As I twisted a balloon into a ladybug for her, she did not stop meowing. She even meowed her thanks. I did not stop hearing meows, in other words her meows strongly persisted, until she went out of the room. Some people just have to moan and meow I guess.

I was chatting with Steef, the rascal over at Conversations with myself, and came to the realization that we always say funny things in a chat but never in our blogs. As might be expected, I don't remember any of the funny things that were said. I do remember my mentioning how obsessed I currently am with listening to Mozart radio on pandora, and that now I know way more about composers than I ever have before and I'm so besotted with them that I literally can't stop listening to them. Also, I found out I have quite the affinity for Johann Bach, and I had no idea who the hoot that was before. Also also, there are a lot of composers with the first name Johann. Johann Bach, Johann Pachelbel, Johann Hummel. If I name my first child Johann, will he/she be a famous composer? I really think about this stuff. 

"I feel I'm somehow being made smarter," I told Steef. "I heard long ago that people who play classical music for their babies end up rearing smarter kids, so maybe it also works with 22 year olds who suck at life."
This was funny during the chat, it isn't now. Don't hold it against me. I don't even know what's going on right now.

But I did just acquire a wonderful red scarf that I crocheted myself. Last year & the year before, I made everyone scarves for Christmas. This year, I made myself one as I sat at The Living Room cafe [sweet-awesome cafe that resembles a living room] and re-read Deathly Hallows [sweet-awesome book that I want to marry illegally]. I've never owned an apple red scarf before, and I feel it's symbolic somehow. I dunno. Maybe I'm gonna kill somebody or something.















Oh yeah, happy December. "I'm gonna give ya the count of 10 to get your lousy, yella, no good keister off my property before I pump your guts fulla lead. One... two... TEN!" What movie, kids. You know it.

14 comments:

amy the abattoir said...

I feel like every single awesome person I know goes to the Living Room frequently, but the only ones I ever see there are the ones I try to avoid.

Strange.

Steve said...

Meow meow meow. Meow meow. Meow-meow meow meow MEOW AHAHA MEOW. Meow.

-Meow.


PS: MEOW MEOW MISATO FUCK YEAAAAAAAH.

Giovanna ♥ said...

Adorable scarf!! I wish I could know how to knit! It's funny because my little niece can, and she was trying to teach me, but I'm such a bad student ..anyway, I guess I have to pay more attention :)
I know what you mean about saying funny things while chatting, my boyfriend says that I make him lough all the time with my stories, but then I feel that it's hard to be funny when I blog!
I loved what you said about being smarter if someone listens clasical music! You made me laugh with that comment.. hahaha
Hope you're having a lovely week!
xxx
Giovanna
❉ ✿ ✿ ❉
www.bohomarket.blogspot.com

Toothfairy said...

damn... you've just reminded me that I haven't knit anything since ...forever! the only thing I've finished knitting was a scarf, for my Barbie! hahaha

loves

HG said...

I feel that because I am a mother, I can say this without it making me look like a total bitch of a horrible person.... (kinda)
But creepy-annoying children are the most unsettling thing ever! Because you know they are just going to grow up to be creepy-annoying adults. Its a viscous never ending cycle.... *sigh*

CC said...

" I've never owned an apple red scarf before, and I feel it's symbolic somehow. I dunno. Maybe I'm gonna kill somebody or something." Hahaha
I love the scarf all the more now. ;)
Xx

PS - I have a great giveaway on my blog. Don't forget to sign up! :)

Hannah Miet said...

*Moan*I was loving you the whole way *Moan* through, but once you got to *Moan* "no good keister" my heart may or may not have exploded all over my desk.

Jessica said...

That scarf is pretty!
I knitted scarves for everyone in my fam two years ago. It was nice when I had the time!!!
Someday I will have time to knit again :)

j said...

hannah: i know what you mean. i never see anyone there but angry/sassy college students wearing sweatpants.

steef: shut the hell up

giovanna: oh yah, i cannot knit in the least, and i know how to crochet one single design. so don't feel too bad hee he.

toothfairy: you still have barbies? i kind of what to BUY more barbies cause i don't have any now. i just kinda want to own barbies again.

HG: how right you are. creepy annoying people are ALWAYS creepy annoying people.

cc: thank you

hannah: well, i hope you preserved it. hannah's heart shards on sale at alberton's. well, on sale at trader joes. i don't think ny has albertons. in any case, i'd buy it in a heartbeat. okay, now things are just getting too punnish. but thankfully you understand these no good rants.

jessica: it's certainly fulfulling to gift people with something i got finger blisters for, because then they're obliged to appreciate it and if they don't wear it you can guilt trip them.

Giovanna ♥ said...

Yayy!! I love mint on my nails too!! xoxo
Giovanna
www.bohomarket.blogspot.com

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

uhhh shes my absolute favorite

Anonymous said...

Very nice story.
Liked it.

http://tinyurl.com/google-orkut-gadget

ppolischuk said...

wtf really nobody answered the question? HOME ALONE.

captcha: goxswont. i like that.

]3rian said...

hahaha I read every comment to see if anyone answered which movie. I knew I heard it before but couldn't place it.