It used to be the more I talked things through in my head, wrote them down, the more I understood them and the clearer things would become. Now the more I try to reason through every problem, the foggier things are. The rain takes my thoughts. It takes away my creativity and my will. Those people who love the rain - they're on a separate plane than I am, further away from my brain and my ideas than anyone could ever be. Driving to work at 630 a.m., the rain is an eternal, violent reminder that things in life can't always be how I want them. Things in life that I want, that I would die to become, are flying far away from me and the things that I'm most scared of are crawling to take up space in my head.
When I miss writing the most, I cannot form sentences. When I drive, asleep and awake are the same thing. Everything out the window looks pretend. The other day, these clouds pestered me with their beauty, sticking up for themselves, claiming to be real. I couldn't believe it. Toy Story clouds, big as ever right above the 52 east. They were a painting.
10 comments:
I thought "yes."
I also thought of us lying in a desert, dry and sharp. Words like grains of sand. Empty of all else.
I felt sad. But then it hit me
that these were sentences, and they were what was emptying me.
The Toy Story clouds and asleep and awake being the same thing. The space between those things, the is and the want to be.
Oh, J. You've got it. The rain will continue, but it won't take you away. Just look at those pestering clouds.
Without wishing to be florid it's nice to have you back.
They're a painting indeed! I always enjoy reading your posts!! Thanks for stopping by my blog :)
I missed u too!
xoxo
Giovanna
i agree i agree i agree. why does the weather have such a hold over human beings? i will never understand it. it's like a filter we're forced to view things through that can change at any second.
and i agree, why are we not better friends? let's go paint the town red.
I'm one of them from the other plane. I loved Seattle and the rain and all the green up there. to me it's nice getting a little spritz down here every once in a while.
i despise the rain.
this picture is awesome?@!!!!!!
Rain got me overthinking and soooo mellow, I might freak myself out at times.
hopefully those things you're scared of will teach you something useful in the end. i have to constantly remind myself of the cliche (yet true as of yet) that the hardest lessons to learn are the most valuable ones.
i've missed reading all of your beautiful words, m'lady. i feel like you'll be at the alice in wonderland premiere and if my suspicions are correct, maybe i'll see you there :)
That picture with clouds looks so dreammy....
Hi there!
Just wanted to let you know that I'm having a great giveaway on my blog :) It's a lovely plaid dress.
Visit my blog for details.
xoxo
Giovanna
www.bohomarket.blogspot.com
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